Liar, Liar!
Have you ever noticed how many good, honest, hardworking people turn into liars at New Year?
It’s an amazing thing to watch as people from all walks of life, all ages and both sexes, go through the whole New Year’s resolution ‘thing’ and tell themselves lies about what the next 12 months will bring them.
You know what I mean.
11.59pm on New Year’s Eve you turn to a loved one and say “This year is going to be different. I’m really going to achieve some great things!” and for that one minute, that one moment in time, you mean it.
You REALLY mean it!
You are fired up, raring to go and ready, willing and (despite the glass of champagne in your hand) able to commit to that new diet, getting that payrise or new job, starting that company, writing that book and a whole host of other great sounding things.
Then the bells ring in the New Year and a funny thing happens.
January 1st rolls around and, whilst the goals are still in your head, they don’t seem as important anymore. (maybe it’s the champagne?)
January 2nd comes and by lunchtime you’re telling yourself that some of your goals are ‘just silly fantasies’ and you scratch them off your list.
January 3rd arrives and, despite a much shorter list than you had just 2 days before, you start to tell yourself that “I’ve got all year to do this. I don’t have to start right now. Let me just ‘settle in’ to the year first and ‘get myself sorted’ and THEN I’ll work on my goals”
Like I said, all lies!
In fact, there are FOUR lies that are used more often than any others at this time of year. Pay attention and you might recognise a few of them from New Year’s gone by…
Lie number one: ‘This year is going to be different’
For some reason, this seems to be one of the most popular of all the lies we tell ourselves yet, the truth of the matter is, for most people, sad though it is, 2010 is going to be EXACTLY the same as 2009 was.
Why?
Because, despite their initial optimism and excitement at what they new year will bring, their strategy is EXACTLY the same as it was last year and, as the saying goes, if you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.
Most people aren’t looking to MAKE many changes, they just WANT changes to happen.
They’re not really looking to address CAUSES of their shortcomings, they just want the EFFECTS to go away all by themselves.
Sound familiar?
Lie number two: ‘The goals don’t seem as important anymore’
Fibber!
Yes they are!
They’re every bit as important as they were 24 hours ago it’s just that somewhere deep down you’ve started to persuade yourself that your goals are somehow unachievable and, if the truth be known, you’re scared about failing so instead you lie about their importance.
If not that then you’ve suddenly realised that the price to achieve them is a little more than you’re actually willing to pay.
That new diet.
The new training program.
The savings account.
The new job.
Sure, you’d like the new body, the better health, the extra wealth and freedom but DOING what needs to be done is the problem so you lie and pretend that the goals are no longer appealing.
Tsk, tsk!
Lie number three: ‘They’re just silly fantasies’
This is a continuation of lie number two but much more harmful.
With this lie you’ve started to rationalise and justify why your goals are impossible and use all kinds of excuses disguised as ‘reasons’ as to why your goals are unrealistic… the biggest lie of all!
Every single one of your goals is yours for the taking if you’re committed to making them happen. EVERY one!
All you have to do is commit. Make a decision that you want the reward, commit to paying the price and you WILL have that thing or those things come true for you.
When all’s said and done, most of us want pretty simple things. A better home, better health, better relationships and maybe a few baubles thrown in for good measure. What’s so unrealistic about that?
Don’t use the ‘unrealistic silly fantasies lie to keep you from taking action on your goals or you’ll doom your life to a groundhog day repetition over and over and over again while you ‘play it safe’ and ‘be realistic’.
Lie number four: ‘I’ll settle in first and do it when there’s more time’
What a great lie!
This is an ‘I’m not giving up, I just need to get back into the flow at work or school before I attack these goals’ kind of lie that you use to delay things until the time is right.
But wait a minute…
Wasn’t work, school or your other favourite excuse the reason why you couldn’t achieve your goals BEFORE New Year?
No, you know full well that lie number four is simply a delay tactic, that ‘one day’ lie that we all tell ourselves in order to get out of taking action when we know we could, when we know we should. You know, ‘one day when I have more time…’ or ‘one day when I have more money…’ (or whatever else you use to delay your goals).
Regardless of your ‘one day’ excuse, the results are the same… zero. Just like they are every year.
Now, if you’ve read this far you’re probably recognising many of these lies as ones you’ve told yourself in the past, and maybe even ones you’re still telling yourself now. But, like many people, you have no real idea about how to break free from the habit of creating ‘wish-lists’ and then lying about why they didn’t come true.
In short, you’re not really that sure about how to make 2010 any better than 2009 was are you?
Well, if that’s the case then you definitely need to keep reading because I’m about to lay out a strategy so simple, yet so highly effective that, if applied as I describe (the important bit) simply cannot fail.
Interested?
I bet you are!
Well, here’s the thing. It requires 6 steps.
Just 6.
Follow them all and seriously great things will happen for you, miss one and it’s game over on your goals. I can’t put it any clearer than that.
Ok, here is success in 6 simple, straightforward, easy-to-understand steps:
1. Know what you want
2. Know why you want it
3. Know when you want it by
4. Write it down
5. Know the price
6. Pay it
If your first reaction to that list is one of ‘is that all?’ then you’re underestimating the power of simplicity for achieving great things.
You see, that those 6 steps, whilst simple, really do form the most powerful goal achievement strategy on the planet. You’ll be hard pushed to find a single successful person on that planet who isn’t committed to using these six steps on a daily basis.
1. Know what you want
Sounds obvious really, but ask almost anyone what they want to achieve from their diet, their exercise plan, their career and even their life, and you get vague generalities at best.
Let’s be clear on this; Things like “lose weight” or “get fit” or “earn more” are not goals.
They’re not!
They’re simply wishes that are so vague and meaningless that you can pretty much guarantee that they’ll fail.
A real goal, on the other hand, is very clear indeed. It tells you exactly what you’re setting your sights upon meaning that you always have a reference point as to how near or how far you are from completing it.
For example ‘lose weight’ becomes ‘lose 30lbs’ or ‘weigh exactly 120lbs’. ‘Get fit’ becomes ‘run the marathon’ or ‘do 50 pushups’ and ‘earn more’ becomes ‘earn $100,000 a year after tax’
See the difference?
One is open ended and allows for excuses and get out clauses whilst the other hangs the target in plain view allowing you to measure your current level of success and adjust your course as appropriate
So, just what is it that YOU want? (Write it down on a sheet of paper RIGHT now!)
2. Know WHY you want it
It never ceases to amaze me that people will happily set goals that they don’t really care that much about.
They say ‘I’m going to do this’ or ‘I’m going to do that’ yet when you ask them why they can’t explain it.
This is the surest sign that a goal is doomed to failure and is a definite warning sign you should look out for when setting your own goals.
You see a goal, any goal, is nothing without desire to fuel it into action and, in turn, desire cannot exist without a strong WHY behind it.
But not just any old WHY. It takes the ‘true’ why to put any real power into your goals. Let me give you an example;
I coached a lady earlier this year who, for many years had struggled with her weight. She set goals all the time, sometimes reached them but nearly every time found that she quickly regressed back to her old weight and very often added a bit extra into the bargain.
When I asked her why she wanted to lose weight she looked at me incredulous, like I was really dumb. “Can’t you see how overweight I am? Isn’t it obvious?”
“So are many people” I replied, “but that doesn’t explain why YOU want to lose weight.”
“Because I want to fit into nicer clothes” she responded “I want to wear pretty things”
“Why?” “Because prettier clothes will make me look prettier” she said with her
discomfort now becoming obvious.
“Why is that important?” I went on.
“Because…” (she started to cry now) “…I feel ugly the way I am now….” She went on “… and I want to feel pretty so that I can meet someone and I won’t be alone anymore… I want someone to love me…” and the tears flowed.
Now, you might be sitting there thinking ‘poor girl’ and wondering why she had to be put through such an ordeal just to help her set a goal. It might even sound cruel in some way.
Well, let me finish the story and let you decide for yourself.
From the moment the coaching session ended, this lady began an amazing metamorphosis.
She lost over 50lbs (and is still losing more), looks happier, feels happier and now has a relationship with someone who loves her like crazy.
I asked her not long ago “What was the turning point? What changed everything for you?” and her answer was simple “I stopped lying to myself. I told the truth about why I wanted to lose weight, and as soon as I did I realised that not only should I lose weight, but that I MUST if I was ever going to be happy”
That’s what WHY does for goals.
It takes all of the shoulds in your life and transforms them into things that MUST happen, and that’s when the magic begins.
You see, the things you could do and the things you should do aren’t anywhere near as powerful as the things that have the power of MUST behind them.
Once you take your could’s and should’s to the level of MUST, you no longer look for reasons, justifications and excuses or other ‘get out clauses’ and instead you focus making things happen.
Turn YOUR should’s into MUST’s by defining WHY you want your goals.
3. Know WHEN you want them by
A goal without a completion date is like a book without words in it. It’s meaningless.
Until you define the timescale that you’re allowing yourself to complete any given goal you’re simply reverting back to the ‘one day’ lie and the ‘wouldn’t it be nice if..’ wishes that most people make.
In effect, you’re giving yourself an excuse not to take action and, as you’re well aware, without action nothing changes.
That’s why, whenever you know what you want and why you want it you MUST set a date for getting it. This adds a sense of urgency to your goal and reinforces the feeling that ‘every second counts’ which, in reality, it does.
You also get to measure whether or not your goals are on schedule or falling behind and, if necessary, exactly what actions it’ll take to bring you back on track.
So, WHEN do you want your goals to come to life for you?
4. Write your goals down and read them regularly
There is a definite sequence to taking a goal from concept to reality and it can best be summed up in three words.
Thought – Word -Action
Up to now we’ve been dealing with thought and deciding what you want, why you want it and when you want it by. This is all mental work and, whilst vital to the achievement of your goals, is by itself, not enough to bring your goals to reality.
You could say that, up to this point, you have a more clearly defined wish or dream but that, nevertheless, it’s still a dream.
To take it from a dream it needs to become real in some small way, either by verbalising it into words or, better still, writing it down.
It’s been shown that the act of simply writing your goals down increases the likelihood of their achievement by anything from 500% to 5000% and that reading those words aloud on a daily basis, even several times a day, increases the effectiveness even further.
Certainly every successful person I’ve ever met or interviewed has told me that they not only have a written list of goals, but that they read it numerous times a day and many carry their list with them at all times.
Why does it work?
Well, it’s simple really. You’re reminding yourself that your goal is important to you. More than that, you’re laying down thought patterns that turn into habits, habits which turn into actions and actions which, when carried out regularly, lead ultimately to your goals.
(If you’ve simply been reading this report and not putting your goals into the boxes I’ve provided, now is the time to go back… fail to do so and nothing changes, your choice!)
5. Know the price
Many people start out setting goals correctly, they know what they want, why they want it, when they want it by and they even write their goals on paper and yet, despite doing everything right up to this point, they find that they never make any real headway toward achieving them.
I believe this is because they often don’t think about the cost of achieving their goals beforehand and so, when the time comes to pay, they’re shocked, stunned and unwilling to do so.
The truth is, every single goal has a price that must be paid.
It might be financial, it might be time, it might be a change of lifestyle, it might be a relationship cost or any number of things, but rest assured, there WILL be a price.
Certainly, at the start of my own career (and even now to a lesser extent) my determination to have my own business, to become a journalist, TV presenter and author meant that I would have to pay the price of longer hours at work, less time with my family and a high degree of financial risk.
That was the price. I didn’t have to pay it but then, if I didn’t I wouldn’t reach my goal. My choice. What is the price of YOUR goal?
Figure it out now, up front so that you can decide before you start whether or not the cost is too steep and if it is, set another goal that you can live with and still be happy.
6. PAY The Price!
Hand in had with step five goes the obvious step of paying the price.
It gets its own category because, unlike knowing the price, paying it is an ongoing investment that you must consciously make every day until the goal is yours.
What we’re talking about is the consistent day by day, step by step ACTION that many people are simply not willing to take.
Sure, they come out of the gate well, they’re motivated to get their goal but, well, like just kinda gets in the way. One day they don’t take any action toward their goals, then two, then three and, before you know it, the goal has fallen by the wayside.
What happened?
They stopped paying the price.
Here’s the thing most people don’t get;
If you’ve been paying the price, and paying the price and paying the price for days, weeks, months and even years, then one day you wake up and stop paying the price the every single payment you made was a waste.
A waste of your time.
A waste of your money.
A waste of your effort.
A waste of your life!
You see, the only way to possibly get your investment back is to achieve the goal.
Anything less than that is throwing away a chunk of your life.
This might sound a bit over the top but nevertheless it’s true.
Once you start paying the price, stay with the goal until it’s achieved.
That’s it!
That really is all there is to getting what you want from life. I know I’ve simplified it somewhat but still, if you apply those 6 steps you’ll get what you want faster than any other means I know of.
I want to sincerely thank you for taking the time to read about the four lies we tell at New Year and the Six things that you can do to make 2011 your best year ever.
I know you’ve got lots of other things you could be doing rather than reading my blog and I appreciate you taking the time to read the whole thing.
I’ve done my very best to convey the exact steps that are required in order for you to achieve bigger and better things than you did in 2011 but, as in all things, what actually happens for you in 2010 is totally up to you.
You could brush this off as an interesting little read or as something that ‘you’ll get around to’ but, as I’ve laid out for you here, to do so would simply be to continue lying to yourself and, in the long run, bring about the failure of your goals.
The other alternative is to actually follow the 6 steps laid out for you.
Not kinda, not sorta, not almost but follow them exactly and see what happens for you.
Now, I can’t guarantee specifically what that’ll be but I do know that it’ll be something great and that, whatever your goals are they’ll be that much closer to coming true for you.
The choice is yours as to which route you take, but I do know this; one of those choices leads to certain failure and the other, certain success.
You now know which is which…
It’s time for you to choose!
Truth, joy and love
Dax Moy
P.S – If you’re looking to make some DRAMATIC changes to your life in 2011 then I highly recommend my 100 day goal achievement program The MAGIC Hundred which will guide you step by step through how to make the first 100 days of 2011 the most powerful and impactful 100 days you’ve ever had. But hey, I’m biased in this : )
The Magic hundred is the exact program I used to go from struggling to successful and is the program that Bob Proctor of ‘The Secret’ raved about back in January 2008 and since then the program has been updated and improved upon!
Go check it out for yourself at http://www.themagichundred.com!
Again, showing my affinity toward Buddhism, this book Awakening The Buddha Within
has been a MAJOR influence in my life in recent times due to the author’s very simple and pragmatic approach to sharing Buddhist principles that can be applied to our lives easily.
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